Hello and welcome back to the Friday Fiction Feature! Tabatha (also known as The Supreme Ruler of the Universe–really I am, you can ask my brother) here again this time with a two-part Feature on World Domination! We’ve got how-to’s, how-not-to’s, and beat-me-to-it’s, and by the time you finish perusing this lot I expect to see a slew of would-be competitors for Dr. Schillace as Mastermind and Mistress of the world. Mwahahahahaha ahaha ahahaha ahh… anyways sit back, take notes & enjoy.
The Lost Art of World Domination (Skulduggery Pleasant, #1.5) by Derek Landy
First is the book which inspired this feature, The Lost Art of World Domination by Derek Landy.
A shot of Skulduggery action for free. It isn’t easy to take over the world. First you need the scheme. Then you need the muscle. Then you need to come up with a system for ruling six billion people and keeping them fron revolting. It takes a certain kind of man (or woman) to take over the world. Scaramouch Van Dreg, however, is not that man. But he has one thing going for him. He has his arch enemy, Skulduggery Pleasant, chained in his dungeon, and the only person who is coming to save him is the skeleton detective’s 13 year old sidekick. What could possibly go wrong?
How To Conquer A Nation: The 2014 Beginners Guide To World Domination by Matt Byron
Even the Ultimate Ruler has to start somewhere, and so we present How to Conquer A Nation. First a nation, then a continent, soon everything!
You yawn as your friends boast of flying to Mars or poaching endangered species. You’re not looking for Ferraris in your driveway or jets on your runway. You want to do something exciting and original. What you crave is your very own nation. It’s about time you got one.
C. Montgomery Burns’ Handbook of World Domination by Matt Groening
For the Master or Mistress on the rise, it never hurts to have a handy guide to help you on the ladder of skulls, so to get you through those first steps we have C. Montgomery Burns’ Handbook of World Domination.
Does power corrupt? Absolutely! Does the hunger and lust for absolute power course through your icy blue veins? Do you feel the need to rule the world with an iron fist? To subjugate the masses with a whimsical snap of your fingers? To rise above the insolent and unworthy with your superior intelligence and unlimited supply of cold hard cash? Have you ever wondered if there was a simple step-by-step guide for following your impulses and instincts toward world domination? You’ve come to the right place. Here is the opportunity of a lifetime—the chance to turn your sociopathic needs into bloodthirsty greed! Now you can learn at the feet of the Master of Megalomania . . . Charles Montgomery Burns! Don’t just stand there, you sniveling slugabed. Purchase this portable periodical posthaste and leave your conscience at the cash register!
Everything Explained Through Flowcharts: All of Life’s Mysteries Unraveled Including Tips for World Domination, Which Religion Offers the Best Afterlife, the Secret Recipe for Gettin’ Laid Lemonade by Doogie Horner
Of course if you want to rule the world, you’ll need to know all about it. There’s no saying when world domination will hinge on just the right asparagus recipe delivered with the right lemonade.
Everything Explained Through Flowcharts is packed with meticulously designed charts that trace the labyrinthine connections that order the universe, illuminate life’s great mysteries, and cause eye strain in senior citizens. Swiss scientists at the prestigious University of Helsinki have said that Everything Explained Through Flowcharts is the closest thing there is to a working unified field theory, and have gone on to claim that they aren’t Swiss, aren’t scientists, and aren’t sure whether or not Helsinki is in Switzerland. And yet the Swiss consulate has not denied that this book contains more than two hundred illustrations, forty mammoth charts, and innumerable supporting graphs and essays, including:
An illustrated matrix of WWE Finishing Moves
Heavy metal band names taxonomy
The noble art of zeppelin warfare demystified
How to win any argument
Tragedy to comedy conversion chart for comedians
A creepy drawing of a baby skeleton
How to tell if you’re an evil twin.
The Mad Scientist’s Guide to World Domination: Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius by John Joseph Adams, Austin Grossman, Harry Turtledove, Seanan McGuire, David D. Levine, Jeremiah Tolbert, Daniel H. Wilson, Heather Lindsley and more
Instruction manuals will only take you so far, so to finish of this first half of the Fiction Reboot’s guide to world domination we The Mad Scientist’s Guide to World Domination to teach through example, and show you the follies and successes of your globally-minded predecessors.
From Victor Frankenstein to Lex Luthor, from Dr. Moreau to Dr. Doom, readers have long been fascinated by insane plans for world domination and the madmen who devise them. Typically, we see these villains through the eyes of good guys. This anthology, however, explores the world of mad scientists and evil geniuses—from their own wonderfully twisted point of view.
Everybody loves villains. They’re bad; they always stir the pot; they’re much more fun than the good guys, even if we want to see the good guys win. Their fiendish schemes, maniacal laughter, and limitless ambition are legendary, but what lies behind those crazy eyes and wicked grins? How—and why—do they commit these nefarious deeds? And why are they so set on taking over the world?
If you’ve ever asked yourself any of these questions, you’re in luck: It’s finally time for the madmen’s side of the story.
That is all we have for this week, but never fear, as long as we still have a free (or blog-freindly) world a week from now, we’ll be back with more nefarious schemes and unstoppable plans next Friday!